Transplant Visit and Full Disclosure

It still feels strange to me. Greg receives his transplant clinic appointment information and I don't have to make plans to take the day off. Why? Because my husband is well enough to take the 2-hour drive himself. Once upon a time, it used to be me that would have to drive him everywhere because either he was on breathing machines (such as a ventilator) or he was lugging around an oxygen tank. Now 1.5 years post-transplant, and I am still not used to him making the trip to the hospital every 3 months or so.

No, I don't want to take the day off or sit in the hospital for hours and hours today. It is just that, for so long, I had been in control of his health and now I just sit on the sidelines and wait for him to give me information. The problem is that he is a man and often forgets to give me certain details of the visit because, to him, the information does not warrant bringing up again. So, I have to take the information he does give me, ask the right questions, and pray that I am given all the information correctly.

Why does it bother me? Well, it isn't that it bothers me; it is more the fact that any information now could help me to make decisions for him in the future. For instance, a while ago, he comes to tell me he has a low grade fever of 99.8 degrees. Normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem but then he continues to tell me how he has had it for a couple of days. This is a significant difference! If he were to have passed out or had any problems which kept him from being able to talk to hospital officials, I would have told him that this was the first time he had the fever. This could greatly impair the correct treatment for his illness given that his immune system is almost non-existent!

When a person is very sick or has had an organ transplant, even the smallest of details is the most important. Alas, he is a grown adult and needs to be left to his own devices at this time. He needs to take responsibility for his health and I cannot act as an overbearing protector. It is just that I don't want to lose him. I don't want to be a widow at such a young age of 32. I love my husband greatly and want nothing more than for him to be healthy and live a long and happy life. But, for now, I must sit and bite my tongue... Praying that I receive all the information I need to make the best decisions for his health should anything ever happen to him in the future. Hopefully tonight brings nothing but good news from the transplant clinic visit.