The Long Talk

Couples do it - well those that are happy in their relationship do it. It is called talking and every so often, Greg and I will sit down and just talk about where our lives are and where we are headed. The most recent talk came during a night out downtown with dinner and a concert. We decided to try this nice Irish Pub downtown and, of course, they allow smoking in there. Lucky for us, there wasn't much smoke at all given that the Green Bay Packers had just finished playing that day.

While we ate, we talked about our goals to each other. I realized during the conversation that he was joining the rat race once again. For those that don't know, the rat race is a term we use to illustrate people's need to fit in with society and follow the "flow"; even at the chance of losing themselves. I will agree that I was doing the same thing and it was at this moment that I took a step back in my mind and let myself remember everything we have endured over the last 7+ years of our marriage.

No! It wasn't happening! I wasn't going to let it happen! We had realized a long time ago that the rat race is often not won and people are generally not happy in that race. The importance of life and love in this world are swept away with power, money, and social standing. It was not enough that we love ourselves but that other people love, adore, or even envy us. This is not for us; I am not going back to a time when my self confidence resembled a grain of sand or that I allowed myself to try and fit in with people just cause that was what society wanted us to do.

So, we took that time during our meal to remember that life is short. We don't know how long Greg's great health will last or even when we will both be called home by God. It is for that reason that we threw our hands up and said "Nope, not playing!". Life, love, and our relationship are too important to us. Following our passion and inner dreams is what truly matters - not making 6-figures a year! Sure, if we can follow the path we want and still make great money, then that is awesome. However, if we cannot, then we will truly wealthy lives anyway - strong, healthy, happy, and together!

Personal Choices

As a child, I used to ask a thousand questions a day and was well known for being very blunt about my questioning. My grandmother used to tell me that it wasn't nice to ask people certain questions but I always figured that if I were so honest with other people, then why should they have a problem being honest with me?

It was not until I had gotten older that I realized the difference between people being honest of their own free will and people being backed into a corner and the honesty driven out of them. For example, people will often ask us when we are having children. This one is especially sensitive to me - not because we will not be having any, but because I have an older cousin that never had children. You see, no one ever asked her why she didn't have children because they always thought there was a chance she could not have any naturally. That was way before the age of modern science and now it is seen as a duty to have children in the United States because medicine now allows us to have that opportunity. Well, that is all fine, well, and good but that doesn't take into account all the hormones and emotional torment some women have to go through just to try having children.

God did not grant my husband and I with having children naturally and I think that is a good thing. Why? Simply because I don't want to pass down the Cystic Fibrosis (CF) gene to my children (even if it is just recessive) and because Greg and I can enjoy life with a freedom from disease and other attachments. Does that mean that people with CF shouldn't have children? No! It is a personal choice and we respect those that choose to have kids... it just isn't for us.

Now if we could get people to learn how personal of a question it is and that they shouldn't ask it, our world would be a much happier place.

Tired Bodies

We returned home Sunday night with tired bodies and a lot of new memories to be cherished. No counting the small fender bender I had 45 minutes before the wedding, the 3+ days out of the state were great! Greg and I got to spend some much needed time together and we got to spend time with Greg's college friends. Oh the stories I heard - especially after the best man got drunk at the wedding! (Thanks Ian!)

Everyone kept telling me how amazing Greg looked. They couldn't believe he would look any better than he did back in college but now they realize how sick he actually looked back then. His skin was always dark and most thought it was a tan - alas, it was a blue tint from the lack of oxygen that made his skin look that way. The lack of coughing was another thing that shocked them... as I explained - no more sick lungs, no more coughing. Needless to say, Greg's fight against Cystic Fibrosis (CF) holds him in high regards with his friends and they respect him for the battle that he has already won and the battles he will fight proudly.

Life Renewed

We have traveled to the land of 10,000 lakes (Minnesota) to witness the wonderful marriage of my husband's college friends to his college sweetheart. They have been together for some years now and a few months ago, Greg received a phone call requesting that he be one of the groomsmen in the wedding. Needless to say, he was more than willing to stand by his own best man's side and show his support.

Thursday we arrived and things were a bit hectic due to hotel problems. The inn where we were supposed to stay was quite dirty; with mold on the walls and a smell that you wouldn't even find in your grandmother's most hidden closet. Not even 10 seconds after we walked into the room of a better hotel, the guys were there to whisk Greg away to the bachelor party. After a poker game and at least one strip club (that I know about), Greg returned home at 2:30am, filled with what I called "cooties" from naked women dancing around him. *laugh*

Yesterday we did some shopping in the Mall of America and then headed out to rehearsal and dinner with everyone. What a blast! Some of Greg's other college friends were in the wedding or also attending and the things I heard about Greg in college made me laugh so hard my mouth was hurting. We talked for hours and then even headed to a local bar so the guys could play pool and darts; as if they never left college.

Why am I repeating all of our actions over the last couple of days? Plain and simple my friends - it is life renewed! Only a few short years ago, my husband was 4L of oxygen, artificial life support, and very near the end stage of his disease . . . just praying he would get a second chance of life with a double lung transplant. Now, here he is - almost 2 years post-transplant and able to make new memories with old friends and laugh as though those moments of life and death never occurred. Sure, we know what happened and it is that which made him stronger. But that is the past and we were blessed with a second chance of life and, Lord, are we gracious for it! Tonight we get to witness a beautiful marriage, make some more memories, and laugh until our side hurt with old and new friends. Life is good!