Thankful

It is not even Thanksgiving and are reminded of how truly blessed we are. Over the last 24 hours, I have realized that everything can disappear in the blink of an eye. Here we are, almost 1 year post transplant and yet we had started to forget what is truly important. Heck, my head had even grown to a disgusting size as I started to have a false sense of "superiority" going on. (shakes head) I am not willing to go into the details as to why I feel this way, just that I realized this morning, when I woke from a nightmare, that I am not above some things in the world and that, at times, I can be a not-so-nice person - especially to those I love. No, I am not saying that I go out of my way to be mean or something - just that I was taught a sarcastic type of humor and a skill for nit-picking that although I can be logical about everything, some things do not and should not be picked apart for the lowest common denominator.

I will admit that, at times, these skills that my family had taught me even become predominant when speaking to Greg. Yes, I have picked on him for the littlest of things - some may call it a woman's ability to nag. But, just because it was given a name does not mean it is right to do to other people. Yes, I believe that all people should be respected, even if they are different. And yes, I believe that we should accept people for who they are - even if it does not closely resemble our own persona. Alas, this is something I was taught throughout Greg's disease. (sigh) I can even remember begging God to not take my best friend away from me as Greg lay in a hospital bed, on a ventilator. I told God that I just wanted my best friend back and told Him that I would respect Greg for his abilities and inabilities. We are not the same person. Heck, who wants to be married to a clone of themselves?

After Greg's transplant, everything changed. Once he was better, I fell pray to "society" and all its chaos. I started to forget what was important and cared more about dishes being put away and forgot that I should be thankful that my husband was there to make the dishes dirty in the first place. Would I rather a clean kitchen than my husband's life? No way! But, when society tells us what is important - money, power, materials items, social standing, etc. - we don’t turn a deaf ear. But, when God tells us what is important - respect, compassion, love, understanding, trust, gratuity, etc. - all of a sudden, we lose all sense of hearing. My friends, it is time to get back to basics. I, for one, started doing so this morning when I expressed to Greg how I realized I do pick on him and that I don’t show enough respect for him and his life and asked for his forgiveness. That forgiveness was extended and it was at that moment my quest began.

~Shannon
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