Been Quiet

I know I have been quiet lately but in all honesty it is because I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Not many people realize how life is spun upside down and all around when dealing with a "terminal" illness such as Cystic Fibrosis or how draining it can be to go through an organ transplant. No, this is not a pity party - it is more like an awakening. You see, when you are in the middle of all that stuff, you don’t have a lot of time to think. Your actions are based on impulses and adrenaline rather than sitting there contemplating life.

Now that Greg is going on his 1-year post-transplant anniversary, I am realizing that life as we knew it no longer exists. We are given greater possibilities than we ever had and the problem is that when you are living life in one way, it is scary to change that. The time as come though for me to finally make the changes I need to in order for me to be happy in my life. I have spent so much time caring for others that I have neglected myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I have pushed aside those things that matter most to me and, unfortunately, by doing so, I cannot even remember what those things that truly made me happy were. Do they even still apply? I cannot answer that at this time. What I do know that it is time for me to wipe the dust from those things I have tucked deeply away in the back of my subconscious and let them live once again. What a wasted life is that which is not spent happy . . .