Lost

Have you ever felt like things around just didn't make sense and you get this feeling of being lost? I know it may sound funny and maybe it is just something that people with certain backgrounds only feel but it is as though you try to fit into a world that keeps going on around you and yet you just can't seem to enter that world.

Okay, what are am I talking about now? (laugh) Well, I am talking about trying to fit into a group, setting, or atmosphere because you think you should but it just isn’t a fit for you. You try as hard as you can to fit into this area but the more you try, the more you feel foolish and know you just don’t belong. So, why do we do it? Why do we try to fit in just because we think it is right - why not find the right sized niche from which we will fit in and that eagerly awaits us out there? It is when you feel at peace with the world around you that you are in that niche - so why do people look to be part of something they are no comfortable with?

I admit, I too have fallen into this - believing that I was better off being like other people in certain niches and then I learned why I kept failing - because I wasn’t them. I would feel nervous around them and talk about random things until my throat was as dry as the desert sands. Then I would walk away from the conversation feeling stupid and recounting the off the wall things I had said. Why? To fill the gap in conversation and the gap in my life. The problem is that you cannot fill a hole in a wall with anything other than parts of what it already is. So trying to fill that gap with people and things that aren't me just won't ever work. People are just going to have to accept me the way I am and, in turn, I will be more open to those in which I do fit in. A confident person is one that can convey their power through silence and just in being.