Final Suggestion

Another "conversation" took place between my friend and myself on whether or not this person should enter a relationship with someone who has Cystic Fibrosis. Again, I thought this information may prove of some help to others considering such a relationship... Again, this is only my advice based on my own relationship with my husband who has CF and a double lung transplant.

I read through your emails again and I can see that you are confused by this whole thing - rightly so. I cannot tell you whether or not you are overanalyzing things - I am not you and am not in your situation. I can only speak from my own personal experience and give you information bases on that. So, I will not say whether or not you should continue with a relationship but I will give you information based on our relationship.

First, you asked about Greg being on a vent for 8 months. Yes, he had a tracheostomy after 2 weeks of being on the vent and after a couple of months he was able to be on a trach mask during the day. Of course, with CF, the stuff still needed to be coughed up and out of the trach so we also had a suction machine that went with us wherever we had to go. Those were difficult times but it only made us stronger. :)

As I have said before, I wouldn't trade my relationship with Greg for anything. If I had to do it over again, I would. He is well worth it and you need to take a look at what you have in front of you and decide which path your are going to take. By continuing in a relationship with this person, you don't necessarily have to give up anything in your life but you may have to make significant changes to your life and lifestyle. That which you are accustomed may not be tomorrow. You are the only one that can decide what is right for you - no one else.

My recommendation would be to continue on with the friendship and try not to look at the CF. Think about it - if you were looking to get into a relationship with this person and this person did not have CF, would you? If you did and this person was diagnosed with cancer after 5 years of being married, what would you do? Most people would stick around - it is because we have this in our face now that we think about it more and more. We base decisions on the disease rather than the love or the relationship we have with the person. If you have that strong of a bond and love for one another and you are willing to go through hell for each other (even if hell never comes), then it is all worth it. If you have your doubts about the relationship in itself, then it will never work and you cannot feel bad because of it - that is just a normal part of a relationship.

I hope this helps and if there are any other questions I can answer, please feel free to contact me any time!