Throw the towel in

Advice does not come easy - especially when dealing with a terminal illness or a organ transplant. So, normally I will stay away from giving advice and just give information on our own experiences in these areas. I usually stay away from phrases such as "you should" or "what I think" but, alas, this time, I may have gone over that line without even noticing it. How do I know this, because once I gave a certain person information on the difficulties of these types of situations and how they need to look at their own lives through a magnifying glass to assess the situation, the person's attitude changed. What was once a person seeking help and not feeling that they can make it through the roller coaster ride of a spouse with an illness such as Cystic Fibrosis, turned into a person explaining away how their previous thoughts may have been premature.

Okay, so I can say that some good came from our communications but I did forget one of the finer rules of medical illness in families - never given advice - even if asked - because each person's experience is different than another's. Did I forget that each situation is as unique as those individuals going through it? No, not for a moment. But, my problem was that I didn't convey this enough during the communications. That is why I am posting this as an addendum to my previous posts.

No two situations in CF, lung transplants, or any other medical cases are the same. Each is as unique as the fingerprints of humans. We are all different people and even if the disease is exactly the same (even though diseases act quite different on different individuals), the way we handle them; mind, body, and soul, is very different. For example, a person in Greg's position may have decided to party their lives away instead of get their degrees - they would have just died but on their terms and most likely would have died sooner because they gave up on life. However, my husband did not and he is still alive today. Why? Because he handled it differently than a good number of people out there. Does that mean he is any better or happier than others out there that handle CF and transplantation differently? No. It just means that he is different and lives by his own rules and understand the consequences or rewards of his actions. We must all take responsibility for the choices we make regarding anything in our lives - even giving advice.