Happy Halloween!

It is Halloween once again and I still cannot believe how fast the last year has gone. And to think, one year ago today I was wondering whether or not Greg would ever get his transplant. I believe we had already had 5 dry runs and we were both getting tired. Greg's body was starting to shut down and we wondered if he would make it through the cold season without getting sick, or worse, dying. But, we had our faith to guide us and our faith helped us through it all - from transplant to a number of upper respiratory infections, and two hospital stays for minor complications due to having his immune system knocked down to ensure no rejection took place. Wow! It is difficult to remember what life was like a year ago. Now, here we sit, with the rest of our lives ahead of us.

The problem for us now is figuring out what we want to do with the rest of our lives. Greg is an awesome Project Architect but I still cannot find my niche in this world. Given the fact that the roller coaster ride of post-transplant life can take a violent shift uphill at any moment, it is difficult for me to open myself to the possibilities that await for the security in our lives as they are at this moment helps me sleep at night and keep from having those roller coaster nightmares.

And so it begins

The cold season is upon us and as it made its way through Milwaukee, it decided to stop by our house first and give Greg a visit. (sigh) This morning he woke up with a sore throat and what seems to be the beginning of a cold. So, on my way back from dropping our puppy off at doggie daycare, I stopped at the 24-hour pharmacy and picked up the essentials - 2 boxes of Puffs Plus w/Lotion, 2 saline nasal sprays, and a bottle of Zicam (which is homeopathic cold nasal spray). Unfortunately, the Zicam sprayer was broken so Greg will just have to pick up another one on the way to work. Of course, we already have Cold Eeze, which Greg popped into his mouth as soon as he woke up and I had him take extra vitamin C. (sigh)

It is so early in the season to get a cold that I have to admit I am a bit worried. If he was able to catch a cold so early on, how will his immunosuppressed body make it through the rest of the winter? I pray that this is the first and last cold of the season for him and that we go at least another year without another one paying a visit to our home.

How dare I

I know, how dare I not post a blog entry yesterday. My apologies, dear friends, but it has been a bit hectic here. The flu shot made me a little sick (normal) and Greg had his appointment with infectious diseases (ID) yesterday at the transplant hospital. As for Greg's appointment, he has a mild staph in his lungs that is not contagious and he probably got it during one of his routine home nasal flushings. So, the ID doctor is going to meet with Greg's pulmonary transplant doctor and discuss how aggressive they want to be with this. It is not posing a threat right now and is a slow growing organism (multiples once every 2 days) so he is not at risk at this moment but could be if this is not taken care of right away. So, they will discuss antibiotics, possible CT scan, and possible bronchoscopy and in the meantime Greg has to either use sterile water or boiled water when doing his home nasal flushing to make sure he doesn't give the staph any more company.

In order to make sure we do everything we can, we have agreed to check out a house water softener and reverse osmosis (RO) system. On a side note, we also agreed to join a gym and signed up last night. It was Greg's idea this time - it seems that whenever something like this staph thing happens, he understands how crucial it is to take the best care of himself. I wish he would realize that without having to have something like this staph thing happen in order to remind him of how fragile life is.

Shot in the arm

Every year, I go and do something that I hate - all in the name of love. I am speaking, of course, of the flut shot that transplant patients and their immediate family must get because of the decreased immune system of the patient. You see, I can give gallons of blood and never even break a sweat but my body throws a temper-tantrum of sorts when anything is injected into it. Dont ask me why because doctors cannot figure it out - let's just hope and pray I never need a transplant because I would probably reject it before it is fully connected. Not to worry though, I will be fine in a couple of days and it is well worth it to protect Greg and his gift. With that said, I shall say "good night" for I am off to sleep some of this pain and discomfort off with an early and long slumber.

Wonderful News!!

I was literally pulling out my hair looking for it. So many people said that it was a shame that our old blog was deleted because the step-by-step detailed moments of Greg's transplant were lost forever. Well, it seems that before I deleted the blog, I saved a text version of those special entries. Yes, you heard me right - I HAVE THE TRANSPLANT BLOG POSTS!! And, even better yet, I was able to recreate those roller coaster months during Greg's double lung transplant - October 2004 & November 2004. They have the exact same dates and times as when everything was happening. It seems the blogger didn't have a problem with my doing that after all. That transplant log helped so many people - so it was well worth the work. :) We hope it is able to help more people now. :) If you have any problems with it, please feel free to email me: shan at angelcove dot us.

God Bless!

Inflated Balloon

Some have told me that I have the gift of gab and that my ability for the logical escapes even the greatest of minds. After much research (self-taught web development lessons), it has become clear that the path to keeping readers coming back for more is not through my "gift" of gab. It seems, that the longer any text within a web page, the less likely a visitor will sit down and read it. Does that mean that the blog posts will cease to exist, never! I will just have to teach myself how to be short but sweet - ahhh! But I am already short and sweet - standing at a mere 5'5" tall and sweeter than strawberry shortcake (alas, my childhood nickname *smile*). So, dear friends and family, from this point onward, I will try my hardest to keep the posts short, sweet, and to the point - to cut out any unnecessary "dribble" if you will. *smile*

My new mantra is "The blog is not a graduate Philosophy paper" and I shall repeat that phrase until I get it through this Descartes mind of mine! *wink* For now, please know that all is well in our corner of the world and we pray that health, happiness, and love follow you wherever you may travel.

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Mischief Managed

Come on, admit it – even you get mischievous thoughts every once in a while, don’t you? Of course, we all do. It doesn’t matter if you are 14 or 40, you still feel like letting down your hair every so often and doing something that is, well, naughty or childlike. (wink) If you were to say “no”, then I would have to say that you were most likely lying. It is not uncommon to want to break free from the mold and become something other than you normally are. What is life without a sense of adventure?

So, what shall it be? A little bungee-jumping? How about a trip to Key West just to get a slice of Key Lime Pie and bring it home to Wisconsin? Okay, maybe Key West isn’t the ideal place at this time with Hurricane Wilma about to hit bur I think you get my point. Living a stale life; just to get up in the morning, go to work, come home, and go to sleep – just to do it all over again in the morning. The problem is that our society has fashioned itself after the ideals of the rich and powerful. The more money you have, the more toys you have, and therefore the more powerful you are. (laugh) That is all well and good but what do you do in the meantime, suffer? Do you sacrifice your youth and your life just to please the Gods of power and money? If you do, then I will add you to my prayer list. If you do not, but are stuck somewhere in the middle, let me tell you that there is a way out.

Since music makes my soul sing, I don’t idly sing a song without hearing the words I am singing. It is for that reason that I am able to pull out a verse here and there that truly speaks to me. For instance, there is a song that is based solely on advice for teenagers. In it, there is a verse that says “do one thing every day that scares you”. A simple phrase and yet a powerful one. We, as humans, are motivated to stay away from that which we fear. Ironically, this practice is normal and yet, as we close on Halloween, we embrace death and fear. Life is not without a sense of irony. (laugh)

This does not mean that you should do something that may hurt either yourself or another living being just to get over your fear. This means that you should attempt to live beyond your fear and the stereotypes that are laid in front of you. I am sure that your parents told you once or twice that you “could not” do something. Being unable to do something is “could not” but not doing something because someone else tells you not to is “should not”. It is society that limits our abilities by telling us what we can and cannot do. Funny how society thinks it understands the condition of the human spirit and what we are physically capable of doing. If my husband had listened to this, he would have died as a child instead of living past the “childhood illness”. If I would have listened to the advice of society, I would not be as successful in Information Technology as I am, because, let’s face it, I am “merely” a woman. (big laugh) That is why it is important to understand that we can do things beyond what we, or society, believes. Our mind is the only limit to our true and authentic power, and it is fear that immobilizes the mind. So, if we are only limited by what we can imagine and dream, then, truly, we are without limits to our abilities and are capable of doing anything we can set our mind to – even being mischievous when we are, say, above the age of 30. (wink)

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.us/dakotasden

Clean is not always clean

You do everything to make sure your house is clean. You dust, wax, mop, sweep, vacuum, wash, and so on - to no end - and think that the air your are breathing is as pure as you can get. Well, you may be like me and live in this little fantasy land or you may realize that hospitals aren't even really "clean". Why am I bringing this up? Because I take pride in the fact that I make sure our house is clean so that Greg has the best environment for his new lungs. Well, this morning I realized that I live in a fantasy world.

There was a stain on the carpet, which I decided to break out the steam cleaner for. (laugh) After I was done with the spot, I realized that the carpet wasn't actually clean at all for there lay before me a "clean" white spot with the normal carpet outlining it. Our carpet is dirty despite the fact that I vacuum every other day. And, to make matters worse, I looked at the steam cleaner and there was a ton of dog hair in it! (Ewww!) How can that be?? I just vacuumed the carpet last night and Dakota had not even stepped foot in that room. There shouldn't have been a speck of hair from her. Alas, I was fooled into thinking that the carpet was as clean as I could get it. So, Mr. Hoover, who has been sucking up all the nasty stuff from our carpets for the last 8 years, is being retired today and we are taking a hammer to our piggy bank and extending an invitation to Mr. Dyson to do the job that Mr. Hoover could not. On top of that, Mr. Stanley (Steamer, Carpet Cleaners) will be getting a little call from me today. There is no way Greg's lungs should be subjected to this... this... (sigh) I am at a loss for words in how dirty our carpet is... and it was just installed a year and a half ago!!

Makes a person want to tear up all the carpets and put down hardwood flooring! Wait! That's an idea... but unfortunately Mr. Bank Account says that is a fantasy so I guess Mr. Dyson and Mr. Stanley will have to be enough for now.

If this is an example of how well I have been keeping house - I think I need to do a little more investigating into my other cleaning habits. Gee - a wife's work is never done... now if I can figure out how to get Greg to do some more of this "work". (wink)

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com

The plot thickens

An invitation without my name on it. Normally I would be upset but this is something Greg can do on his own (I love saying that!). Greg has been cordially invited to partake in a meeting of minds on Wednesday, October 26th by the transplant team at UW-Madison. Yes, I said that right - Greg has a last-minute appointment next week. (sigh) The transplant team called him yesterday and said, in so many words, that his last bronchoschopy test came back with a slight abnormality. It seems that there is this guy, named Staph, that has moved in and the transplant team wants Greg to see the infectious diseases team as soon as possible. At this point it poses no real threat to his wonderful new lungs but could if not looked after. From what they said, it is normal for this guy to come in uninvited in people with immunosuppressed systems. So, the bugger decided that Greg's new lungs were the perfect plot of land to build his new home on. Of course, Greg and I are handling this with a level head and knew that we can always get unwelcome guests but we, like the transplant team, want to be aggressive as possible in filing the eviction notice and kicking Mr. Staph's rear end to the curb.

As there is no new bronchscopy scheduled and Greg will not have to be sedated, I do not need to join him on this travel. It is a road best traveled by Greg, himself. You see, as I have mentioned in previous posts, the caregiver must let go at some point and trust the patient's health to the patient himself. That is not to say that I will not be by his side as he goes through this - alas, we are joined at the... umm... well... (blush) ... let's just say I am with him all the way! (wink) Not to fret dear friends and family, this too shall pass and we have faith that everything will work out as it should.

On a side note, I have finally compromised!! Yes, I said that "I" have learned to compromise. (smile) You see, in the last few weeks, I was actively searching for a health club for us to join as Greg had been lacking in the exercise area (okay, so was I!). He finally conceded and then I realized that no matter how much money we spent, he would not really use the health club because he does not feel comfortable exercising there. So, I sought some meditation time and realized that if he would not go to the exercise, I would have to bring it to him. So, I revamped what we loving call the "medicine room" in our house (where he does his transplant routine) and moved the TV into a better spot in front of the treadmill and made all the exercise equipment better to suit his needs. But, would this be enough? That was Monday night and last night (Tuesday) he grabbed his sneakers at 8pm (without me saying a word) and jumped on the treadmill for a good 30 minute run. And, to think, I didn’t have to nag - just had to do that compromise thingy. (wink) Hmmm - wonder what else I can compromise with in order to get him to fix some things around the house. (laugh)

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Blow baby!

When stricken with an illness such as Cystic Fibrosis (CF), you learn to make the best of the situation. Greg and I have been blessed with the ability to turn a bad situation into a laugh or two. Nurses and doctors are often taken back by our ability to joke about the disease or even things that Greg currently has to do even after the lung transplant. We are best friends and have learned that the power of laughter is stronger than even the perils of death when it comes down to it.

Having said that, I will often hear Greg doing his lung function tests in the morning and throw a witty comment in there. My common one is "blow baby, blow!” (laugh) Okay, for those that do not understand this and think it is some lucid sexual fantasy, when Greg has his lung function tests twice a day, he has to blow as hard and as long as possible (3 times) into a spirometer. This machine will give him a read out of the force of his blowing as well as peak flows. The higher the numbers, the better his lungs are. And, I am happy to announce that even without any inhaled medications, Greg has been able to stay above a 3.0 FEV1 (3.02 to be exact). When doing a simple formula, that comes out to be a 73% lung function. Not bad for a man that had around 10% lung function before the lung transplant and was on 4L of oxygen 24/7. His blood oxygen levels (the amount of oxygen carried in his blood and to his organs) is normally at 100% without any need of a supplemental oxygen tank. Gee, and to think, he was at around 89% oxygen levels with that 4L of oxygen back before the transplant. Way to go Hun!

Getting back to the "blowing" (laugh) - I want him to do his best on the test - so "blow baby, blow" is kind of Greg's own little cheerleading squad. The better he does, the better his lungs are. Now, if only I can get him to get on that treadmill more often, maybe we can hit 3.5 FEV1 or maybe even 4.0FEV1! The possibilities are limitless with a little aerobic exercise. I guess I should lead by example and get my own rear-end in gear with the exercise routine first before I bug him any further. :) A hypocrite I am not! (wink)

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Chai Tea

As I sit here and sip my Chai Tea, I try to distance myself from the pressures of the world: work, finances, family problems, illnesses, etc. It is difficult to calm my mind down these days and that is why it is so important to take a vacation every once in a while - even if you never leave your own home. (smile) This morning, I promptly woke up at 5:30am, logged onto the computer, and sent out a very short email to my team at work: "I will be out of the office today (PTO)." That's it - done deal - I took the day off for no other reason than to spend time with myself and leave all the stresses of the world behind.

What would prompt such action? Well, first of all I have 11 (now 10) days of vacation time left this year and I must take all of these days or lose them when the new year hits. Second, we had planned to go to Florida for the Thanksgiving holiday but, alas, my uncle had emergency triple bypass heart surgery last week and will take over 6 weeks to heal. We were to go there for my aunt's 60th birthday but the visit would be too much stress on her as she helps my uncle get better. Of course, I know what it is like to be the primary caregiver and help a husband get better after major surgery - so I was able to appreciate the circumstances and agreed with my aunt that now was not the time to visit. Greg and I much rather wait until everyone can enjoy themselves and since my aunt and I are very close, and I would be spending a great deal of time with her, I want to make sure she can enjoy every minute we have together - not worry about my uncle's recovery. So, the 11 days of vacation time was added back to my "bank" and must now be used. Even though it is often difficult for me to take days off for myself, I have learned that it is necessary.

As I have told my aunt, you are no good to anyone if you do not take care of yourself. These were wise words "spoken" by my husband back when he was on a ventilator and I was running back and forth to the hospital (which was 2 hours away from home). It is true - you must take care of yourself first in order to have your strength to take care of others. With that said, I tried to not feel guilty as I watched Greg head out into the cold and out to work - with Dakota at his side to take her to daycare. Alas, it is just I who dwells in the house now. Just me, relaxation, and a cup of Chai Tea. :)

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

The weekend is upon us

Yes, another weekend is here and we are tired beyond compare. Nothing major has happened this weekend with the small exception of Greg not having to do anymore inhaled medications. (Now that is a cause to celebrate!) Otherwise, we are just living life as normal as we can and making sure to get our home ready for the winter and the new puppy that is due to bless our house in January.

It is in times like these, the "down time” that I used to get nervous. It was during this time that the least expected would happen and Greg would get sick. But if I were to live my life in fear, then what life would I be leading? We should be enjoying each moment instead of fearing for the next. Life is precious... and should be enjoyed at a slow pace... for even a good wine takes time to develop. :)

On a side note though, I do ask for your prayers at this time. My uncle just went through an emergency heart bypass yesterday and I have yet to hear an update. He is 70 years old and this was quite a shock. So, if you could, please keep Frank Dillman from Sanford, FL in your prayers. Thank you and God Bless!

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Thankful

It is not even Thanksgiving and are reminded of how truly blessed we are. Over the last 24 hours, I have realized that everything can disappear in the blink of an eye. Here we are, almost 1 year post transplant and yet we had started to forget what is truly important. Heck, my head had even grown to a disgusting size as I started to have a false sense of "superiority" going on. (shakes head) I am not willing to go into the details as to why I feel this way, just that I realized this morning, when I woke from a nightmare, that I am not above some things in the world and that, at times, I can be a not-so-nice person - especially to those I love. No, I am not saying that I go out of my way to be mean or something - just that I was taught a sarcastic type of humor and a skill for nit-picking that although I can be logical about everything, some things do not and should not be picked apart for the lowest common denominator.

I will admit that, at times, these skills that my family had taught me even become predominant when speaking to Greg. Yes, I have picked on him for the littlest of things - some may call it a woman's ability to nag. But, just because it was given a name does not mean it is right to do to other people. Yes, I believe that all people should be respected, even if they are different. And yes, I believe that we should accept people for who they are - even if it does not closely resemble our own persona. Alas, this is something I was taught throughout Greg's disease. (sigh) I can even remember begging God to not take my best friend away from me as Greg lay in a hospital bed, on a ventilator. I told God that I just wanted my best friend back and told Him that I would respect Greg for his abilities and inabilities. We are not the same person. Heck, who wants to be married to a clone of themselves?

After Greg's transplant, everything changed. Once he was better, I fell pray to "society" and all its chaos. I started to forget what was important and cared more about dishes being put away and forgot that I should be thankful that my husband was there to make the dishes dirty in the first place. Would I rather a clean kitchen than my husband's life? No way! But, when society tells us what is important - money, power, materials items, social standing, etc. - we don’t turn a deaf ear. But, when God tells us what is important - respect, compassion, love, understanding, trust, gratuity, etc. - all of a sudden, we lose all sense of hearing. My friends, it is time to get back to basics. I, for one, started doing so this morning when I expressed to Greg how I realized I do pick on him and that I don’t show enough respect for him and his life and asked for his forgiveness. That forgiveness was extended and it was at that moment my quest began.

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Trade Offs

No early morning artistic writing but a real and true blog update entry. Heck, I don’t even know where to begin. It seems that things have become a little hectic in our lives and we are both a little more frustrated - even to the point where our stomachs are upset. Normally we handle everything very passively and just allow nature to take its course. At this moment, it seems that nature has decided to confuse us a little and make us lose focus of what is truly important.

For Greg, it is the 5-hour work meetings and unstoppable overtime. Projects in an architecture firm have a series of stages they must go through and unfortunately, the lack of agreement from architects, structural engineers, contractors, clients, etc, have forced such projects to be written over numerous times. It is up to Greg to update all these projects - mostly medical facilities and they have been flooding his desk all week. No family dinners for us this week and we may not even see each other at all this weekend because he has to work. What happened to not working anymore overtime because his health came first? What happened to his company understanding that too much overtime is bad for a post-transplant patient? We both agree that it is because he is good at what he does - so good that they only want him to do it. Guess there is a price to pay for being good at something.

As for me, well, I have a ton of work to do also but at least I am able to telecommute from home. This decreases my stress in driving to and from work but working from home is not as easy as it seems. It is a lot of work to make sure all 8 hours (or more) are done in productive work. Don’t get me wrong, I put in all work hours like I should - it just isn’t easy. Then there is my web design business and clients wanting last minute appointments, normal chores, figuring out finances (medical bills, etc), getting ready for our trip to Florida, and thinking about my future. I have been given the opportunity to apply for a part time position at a university as a professor in business. Also, my inbox and phone have been flooded with other career opportunities. The problem is that I like the place I currently work for but it lacks challenge and good use of my skills. Maybe if I could figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, I would know the clear path. But, alas, that pleasure has escaped me.

Last, but not least is our ability to take better care of ourselves. We are currently looking into working with a trainer at a health club to get our bodies into shape. Between Greg and all his body has been through with the prior illness and lung transplant and me with losing a great deal of weight and needing to get parts of my body back to where they once were (don't ask *laugh*), we need help.

It seems that simplicity of life is escaping us and I am so trying to hold on with both hands and not let go. Where did we lose our focus? Why is it so difficult to get back? And most importantly - where do we go from here to get it back before we lose it completely and therefore lose ourselves?

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

As we continue...

... our brisk cold in Wisconsin, the days seem to be longer and longer. There is so much to do and so little time. Work, squaring away transplant medications (finding out that we have maxed out or flexible spending account and now have to pay the rest of the year for the transplant medications), research dogs foods (because Dakota is allergic), fixing up last minute outside chores to winterize the house (no birds coming in our house this year!), working out last minute details on our trip to Florida, hammering things out with family, working overtime, and then there are the 10,000 little chores that must be done on a daily basis. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. Is there?

Time management is not a skill that has been forgotten. It is a tool of necessity once a "normal" life is thrown into the chaos that is known to those with a family illness. How much can an organ recipient do around the house? What puts that person at risk? At what point do the other people in the house start feeling guilty for making that person partake in the chaos? Funny thing... but this person is normal and can do everything anyone else can do. It is only in our minds that we see this person as still fragile and needing help and, ironically enough, that person usually seems themselves as a super-human-being. Having lived so long, hanging onto life... now with a new sense of life, they are unstoppable. That is, of course, until they are stopped. And that, my friends, is what the other people in the house fear. Speaking solely as a wife, it is easier to remember the frailty and to fear it coming once again. But, there must be an even ground. These individuals are able to do the same things we can, but with a little more "padding". Such padding comes in the form of hepa filter masks and protective items to keep their bodies free of germs and lungs clear of harmful dusts, fumes, etc. Do not fall pray to believing that they can't do what "normal" people can - they will amaze you. So long as they parade around in protective gear, they are as "normal" as the rest of us and should be allowed to partake in life's little chaotic moments - just as we.

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

As winter approaches...

... the cold seeps into my bones and makes me regret the days of secretly wishing the 90-degree temperatures would be dismissed. The chill is not so much of the cold as it is the wind and the feeling of death and dying around me. The leaves have changed to shades of purple, gold, and brown, which signifies the end of one stage of life and the beginning and the hibernation that is called winter. Alas, humans cannot merely hibernate as the trees or wildlife - we must continue on and expected to do so with smiles enlightening our faces. But how to create such a smile when the cold fills our veins and saps the energy from the very core of our being? The comfort of our beds beckon us throughout the day; coaxing us to feel its warmth and remember, if even slightly, the warmth of life anew.

Wisconsin does not leave many slowly but rather in one cold breath, all of life is taken from the beauty that is nature; only to be filled with a stark white color and such unbelievable coldness. With this change in climate comes cabin fever, colds, depress, flu, and lack of activity that has become our society.

Why is it that we, as adults, cannot remember the time when we, as children, would button up our snowsuits and rush out into the winter; being greeted with the cold gently kissing our cheeks. Alas, those days are long forgotten - replaced by duty and responsibility. How I long for those days where I couldn’t wait to show off my new pair of moon boots or "freaky freezy" gloves. I remember how the purple peacock on my gloves would show up only when met by the cold - the two greeted each other like old friends and it was then that I realized that the winter was made for children. Only the imagination of children could grasp the possibilities that existed during the winter - ice cave, snowball fights, snowmen (& women!), sleigh rides, and oh, of course, my father having all the children hold tight to my large German Shepherds’ collar as my father threw the ball and my Smokey dragged us all through the ice and snow as though we were merely flies on his back. (laugh) Oh! The great fun winter brings to children! If only adults were give snow days, moon boots, freaky freezy gloves, and a cup of hot cocoa to warm them when they were done playing with Mr. Winter - if only for an hour.

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Lab Transport and Chores

Yesterday we (Greg, Dakota, and I) spent a great deal of time in our car transporting a 2-year old yellow Labrador retriever from Milwaukee to Green Bay. He was rescued from a kill shelter in Kentucky and we were part of its journey home to its new family in Michigan. Although it was a long trip, we were glad to do it and would easily do it again.

Because of this trip, all other daily chores were pushed aside until today. And let me tell you that our chores ganged up on us from no where. Could you believe I have done 11 loads of laundry in the last 24 hours? No, we aren’t dirty people and no, we don’t have clothes galore. It was the fall cleaning and winter clothes "refreshing" that needed to be done. You see, when you have a person that has had a lung transplant and add in a woman that is HIGHLY allergic to dust mites; all things sitting around must be cleaned. And so they were... cleaned like this is no tomorrow. It is sad because I actually miss the office when I am doing work like this. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy house stuff like upgrades and even fixes but the every day tasks such as laundry and dishes lack luster. :) You can't just sit back and say 'Ahh - now will you look at the wonderful thing I did - I am sure glad I did that!" (laugh) Nope, it is more like: "Thank goodness THAT is over!!" I wouldn’t expect anyone else to do it though. Even though I would love someone to come here now and light a fire under Greg to get him to finish up. His goodwill clothes have been sitting on the bed for over an hour now and he cannot find the time to get off the couch and put them in the bag - the bag that just happens to be right next to the bed that the clothes are on. (laugh) As Greg's childhood doctor says: "It must be the defective Y chromosome!" (big laugh) Too bad there isn’t a transplant for that! ;)

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Morning and already tired

With the 30 degree drop in temperature that hit us a couple of days ago, neither of our bodies have gotten used to the cold. The wind and lack of sun make the already bothersome chill penetrate to the core of our bones. Of course, our labbie has not problem with this and is constantly trying to pull us outdoors to romp in the cold. Does she not understand that we are not Labrador retrievers and don’t have the wonderful fur coat that God graced her with? No! All she cares about is that it is finally cold out, she is a pup, and she has lots of energy to play.

Speaking of which, today is our Labrador transport. A rescue in Indiana rescued a beautiful 2-year old yellow Labrador retriever from a kill shelter and found him a new family in Michigan. Of course, there is always the problem of getting these pups from the rescue to the new home so that is where rescue transports come in. The three of us, Greg, Dakota, and I, will be picking up this boy from another transport volunteer who will be dropping him off in Milwaukee. We will then drive him 2 hours north to Green Bay so that he can meet the next volunteer who will drive him to meet his new mom. This is our first transport so we are a little nervous and hope that Dakota will settle down in the back of our car with an 88 lbs pup (she is 70+ lbs anyway). It should prove interesting but it is well worth it to save the life of another living creature and get him home. :)

In the past few years, we have been taught how precious life is and that no life is beneath us to save. Hence, the rescue transport. No, we don’t get any money and have even declined gas money - it is our pleasure to help others in need. If everyone would do at least 1 nice thing for someone they don’t know - everyday - think of how better off the world would be.

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

Money Game

It is ironic that when you have less money coming into the house, you are able to live better than when you have more money coming into the house. What I mean to say is that we had more money when Greg was on disability and we were a one income family then we do now. We knew this and even remarked on it back when we were living with only my income and we were genuinely happier then. (Except for the illness thing) Now, we have two steady incomes and find ourselves spending way above our means.

Sure, we deserve to buy things here and there but when you look at how much money you spent and can't remember what you bought with the money - there is a problem. It is also ironic how many marriages fail because of "financial disputes". Yes, Greg and I had even thought about not getting married at one point because we couldn’t agree on money. He wanted to save every penny and I wanted to spend on what I wanted. Actually, that is not true.... Greg was at liberty to spend money on whatever he wanted and save everything else - not allowing me to spend any at all. We were blessed to see the problems before they hurt our relationship but many do not.

So, that leads me to this morning's post. Why is it that we deem things as "needs" when we truly don’t need them in order to live? Yeah, we "need" a new computer. Why? Because this one is almost 3 years old and makes weird noises (like the hard drive is going to die). Do we really "need" a new computer - heck no! We went out some time ago and bought a backup drive. Should our computer die, we have my school laptop to use as well - it is a great laptop and not as old as the desktop but hardly used because it cannot hook into our monitor. So, in essence, do we "need" a new computer? Again I answer no! Do people "need" $70 sneakers for their infant - No! Does a car "need" $700 worth of parts replaced when the car is working fine and there is no reason to replace these items - no!

But, we are a society built on our "right" or "need" to have these things if we so desire. It is for that reason that we are lazier, fatter, and more self-indulgent then any other country out there. People in other countries actually make fun of our citizens because of the "rights" they proclaim - and then our American "citizens" then complain when their "rights" are taken away. Yet, our Americans don’t understand that these are more privileges then rights - just like the "right" to drive a car - if you can't drive - you have NO RIGHT! It is a privilege!

This is not to start any controversy - it is just to point out that people don’t truly understand the word "need" - it is something that you must have in order to live. You will not die if you do not have a car - you will not die if you do not have a new computer - and so on. But, you will die if you do not take care of yourself, exercise, eat right, live, love, and laugh. Air is a "need", not hi-top Nike shoes signed by Michael Jordan for your infant child that will never walk in them and will grow out of them within a week! Life is precious and giving yourself a treat every once is a while is fine - just remember that too much of a good thing is bad for you! Take time to figure out what truly are your priorities in this world.

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

It's not my fault!!

Okay, so not posting the day before yesterday is my fault but I was exhausted from having worked the entire night before on a computer system release that could only be done after business hours. Yesterday though, was NOT my fault. It seems that the blogger had a last minute downtime scheduled to update their systems. Of course, I would choose the exact time to post a blog entry when their system was down. (laugh) Murphy's Law I suppose... or as my mother says "Mahoney's Law" (my mother's family name).

So, I am making up for it now. I am posting this extra early for your viewing pleasure. What will be the topic of the day? I have no idea! (laugh) I do know that some things have changed in the family. Greg had originally decided not to work full time once his current work contract was up so that he could pay more attention to his health. Well, that was a short lived endeavor! When he first told me this a couple of months ago, I knew it would not last. Greg loves what he does - architectural drafting for medical buildings - and he is good at what he does. He has an uncanny natural gift for this type of work that I often find myself jealous of his passion for it. So, I have decided to not push the topic and allow him to do what he wants. As the transplant hospital said: "We give you new lungs so that you can live - not be scared to live." He did agree that he would wear a mask in the office during the winter should anyone else in the office be sick and decide to infect everyone else. He also agreed that he would limit his work days and if he needs to work overtime to get a project out, he will work on a weekend day instead. Needless to say, I am satisfied with the arrangement.

All is well on my life. I mostly work from home for my company since my team is in MA and I am in WI. Driving into the office with high gas prices doesn’t make sense. On top of that, Greg and I will be doing a volunteer transport this weekend. There was this cute 2 year old Labrador retriever that was rescued from a kill shelter in Indiana. Well, his new forever home is in Michigan so we are helping get him to his new forever home on Saturday. Someone will be meeting us locally to drop him off and then we are driving 2 hours north to meet the next person - which just happens to be his new owner. We are greatly excited and rescuing a dog from a kill shelter gives us a sense of satisfaction that nothing else can compare. Dakota (our 7.5 month old chocolate lab) will be joining us on the trip. She will love having a travel companion for the trip and hopefully she won’t throw a fuss when we hand Max over to his new owner. (smile) Dakota loves other dogs - all sizes and shapes - and hates parting with them.

Hmm - not much of a post but an update post nonetheless. I know I am usually a very verbal and humorous type of person in my posts but it is 6:30am - give a girl a break! (laugh) Plus I have to get ready to go with Greg to the car shop so that he can drop off his car for repairs and he will use my car for the day - he always looks so cute driving a car with dolphins on it and a NY ANGEL license plate. (big laugh) Guess that is the price for borrowing my car!

~Shannon
http://www.angelcove.us
http://www.cafepress.com/dakotasden

For Crying Out Loud...

There are two songs that are dear to my heart. Both, ironically, are sung by Meatloaf. Not many know this but it was because of Meatloaf that Greg and I really started talking online back in 1995. This was our common interest and opened up a world of possibilities for us. The song "For Crying Out Loud" is the main one that is dear to my heart and describes the dynamic love two people share no matter what. It is where one gives when the other one is without. For Greg and me, we are two separate halves of the same whole.

What does that mean? Well, the easiest way to put it is that we are, indeed, opposites. (laugh) I know, you are thinking how a relationship can survive with us being opposites. Well, we do have common interests that helps secure the bond we share but our personas are complete opposites. I am very verbal and an eloquent speaker. Greg is not. On the other hand, Greg is very well versed in financial and political terminology and recent events. I am not. We understand the concepts of the strength the other person has but were not blessed with these gifts. Therefore, I pick up where Greg cannot and vise-versa. Sadly though, this "opposite" strength often leads couples down the road to divorce. It is those couples that see it as an asset that get stronger over time.

There is one section that speaks above all and can give you a small glimpse into the love that we share - the love that triumphs over any illness, transplant, or test of time...

For taking in the rain when I’m feeling so dry
For giving me the answers when I’m asking you why
And my oh my
For that I thank you
For taking in the sun when I’m feeling so cold
For giving me a child when my body is old
And don’t you know
For that I need you
For coming to my room when you know I’m alone
For finding me a highway and driving me home
And you gotta know
For that I serve you
For pulling me away when I’m starting to fall
For revving me up when I’m starting to stall
And all in all
For that I want you
For taking and for giving and for playing the game
For praying for my future in the days that remain
Oh lord
For that I hold you
Ah but most of all
For cryin’ out loud
For that I love you

We are each other's strength no matter what may come. No, we are not promised another day with each other and it for that reason that we cherish each other - as is. Yes, we are different people and sure, we irk each other with habits each one does not care for but, beyond all that, it is in the time of need that we truly shine. And when the day comes that we are separated in this life, it is only on this Earth that we will be separated - no one can take forever from us. We are forever one half of the whole.

Sunday's Child

There is an old nursery rhyme that is called "Sunday's Child is Full of Grace". No, I am not a Sunday's child and today, of all days, I do not feel full of grace. However, I am a Thursday's child and have far to go. What in the world does that mean? Well my dear friends, it means that I still have a lot to get done tonight and do not have the time for an adequate blog post. My apologies in advance but now is the time to spend some time with my husband... but not to fret... I will return tomorrow night with much to convey. :)

Responsibility

My body aches, my feet feel like my socks are permanently embedded into the bottom of them, my hands feel like they cannot grip another item in this life... and I feel proud. Let's back-track here. For those that are not aware, growing up I was somewhat of a ... how do you say... princess. Yes, I had chores but the minute I was asked to do any of them, the volcano otherwise known as my Irish temper would erupt. Tears flowed like red hot steaming lava as the top of the volcano erupted with the most hateful things to my father. In New York, normally princesses are called "JAP" (AKA Jewish American Princess). As I was not Jewish and my temper was a far cry from a princess... my father renamed me "CAB" (AKA Catholic American Bitch). I swear to you that this is the whole-hearted truth - that was my dad's name for me and I wore that as a badge of honor. There were only two "bitches" in the family and I was deemed "bitch jr." by others in my family (my aunt, father's sister, being Sr.). If ever a person looked at me the wrong way, I would throw a tantrum and express in the most soap opera like voice how my life was then over. No, this truly WAS me.

Fast-forward to my current adult years. I fall in love with a man with a terminal illness, move 900 miles to the middle of cow country, get married, and become the sole support structure for a man who is traveling into his final days on this earth - waiting for a double lung transplant. Abruptly, the CAB was evicted from this body and told in so many words that she is never to return again. Don’t get me wrong, I am still a very strong-minded individual and don't take any "guff" from people who try to do me or my family wrong - but the CAB left promptly - with no farewell party and no well wishes. I will grant you that she did leave with a number of tears - no doubt my flesh went through a traumatic time trying to deal without the liberties I once believe I owned. And today, while staining our 160+ foot cedar fence (both sides done), my body screamed for her to return again. The CAB heard this plea to leave behind the responsibility of the fence and go shopping or something else as meaningless. She came running back and fought greatly to take her position at the head of the table - to demand that this work was too hard and why should she have to do it at all when she wanted the PVC fence that did not need such work. She threw her bag down and was about to walk in the front door when I turned around to see my wonderful husband sitting on the ground and trying to get every nook and cranny covered by the stain/sealer.

Here, a man that has fought for his life and won the battle to live as healthy as any post-transplant patient can for more years than he was originally given, was on the ground and doing the labor that my body was rejecting. The CAB threw out some comments about how he wasn’t in the sun and I was - how I had cleaned up the entire house and he didn’t - etc. etc. It was then that I realized once again how it is not what happens to you in life but how you choose to deal with certain incidents in your life. And, here I was, letting the CAB even set down her bags... but this sight of my husband reminded me of my own strength and how this fence was our responsibility - no matter how tired or deserving I thought I was. And it was that strength that pushed the CAB out the door and continued to encourage my hand to do one more stroke each time I felt more tired... it was that strength... together with my wonderful husband's strength that ultimately helped us finally finish staining that fence.